Confessions of a Small Time Crook
by sonicking2004
Summary: *Contains spoilers for Zootopia* Duke Weaselton is a simple man with simple needs: Money, and his creed is to get it with any means that does not get anyone hurt. However, his charmed life suddenly gets turned upside down when he crosses paths with a long-eared flatfoot. This is the story of when everything went horribly wrong (according to him, anyway.)
**Confessions of a Small-Time Crook**

Easing open the double doors, Duke Weaselton quickly slipped inside and shut them behind him before slumping against them to catch his breath. How did his life go so wrong? He was simply a simple weasel with simple needs: money, and it wasn't like he ever hurt anyone to get it, unlike certain rodents. If these movie studios didn't want guys like him to make a small profit off of their hard work they'd make their online security tighter, and it's not like they were hurting for money anyway.

Sure he may take the odd job from time to time, but he always relied on his sneakiness and speed to get them done. He never carried a gun, not even baring his teeth. Now, however, it seems that the entire city knew that he had stolen some measly flower bulbs that had apparently caused so much trouble. Now he couldn't go two feet without someone giving him murderous glares, with some actually going so far as to chase him off. It wasn't like he'd even managed to offload those Night Howlers, thanks to that troublesome rabbit cop and that turncoat fox, so blaming the Duke here for those predators flying off the rails was hardly fair!

That's it! It's all that floppy-eared flatfoot's fault! If she simply had been content with her role of writing tickets and kept her twitchy nose out of his business then the Duke would be able to make a dishonest living, rather than ducking into alleyways and hiding in trashcans, fearing for his life! He could hardly believe that the entire city thinks of her as a hero. If others knew the things that she'd done, to him specifically, or the company that she'd kept, Duke doubted that anybody would be even able to mouth the name "Judy Hopps" without gagging. And Nick? They might never have been friends, but Duke thought they were at least familiar acquaintances of a sort, that they understood one another. Duke never imagined that Nick would turn around and help a cop, let alone become one himself! At least the two of them were currently on the other side of town, apparently trying to find some dude tearing ass around Savana Square. Duke hoped that they both would crash and burn!

 _No, don't start thinking like that,_ Duke admonished himself, _You're here because He likes you. He always has because you_ _ **don't**_ _hurt anyone. You don't steal from women or children, nor from those who might go hungry because of you. And certainly nobody ever got seriously hurt because of what you did, even indirectly. Sure, you took that job to get those Night Howlers for Doug, but they were just flowers for Pete's sake! It's not like you knew that they were being used to make predators to go violently crazy! You just need to make sure that the big guy upstairs knows and understands that, so that He'll continue to watch over and protect you._

Duke nodded in agreement at the decision he'd come to, then he looked around. It seemed as though none of the few people here scattered around the pews had noticed him enter, all their heads currently bowed in prayer, so Duke quickly made his way to the confessional booth and slipped inside.

Upon entering, Duke spotted the priest looking through the latticed window from his side. Duke Could hardly blame the guy for looking so startled, as he'd practically barged in on him suddenly and unannounced, but he was rather surprised when the priest cleared his throat and said, in a voice that held a hint of nervousness, "I'm sorry, my child, but I'm afraid that I'm unable to speak with you right now."

Duke couldn't believe it. He knew that his new-found (and, as far as he was concerned, wholly undeserved) notoriety was spreading quickly, but Duke had had always thought of the church as a sanctuary from the world outside. Could he have become so universally feared and reviled that even this man of the cloth was refusing to hear him out? "Please, your grace, just a moment of your time, " Duke gently and quickly insisted. Perhaps if the father here heard the truth about what really happened straight from the Duke's lips, rather than relying on rumors and unreliable news sources, then perhaps this priest will feel less hesitant about hearing him out, and the Duke can finally start getting things back to normal. Clearing his throat before the priest could muster up enough energy for another protest, Duke began, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been..." Duke trailed off as he tried to remember the last time he came to a confessional only to realize that he couldn't. He just had the sense that it had been a while. Was that why all these bad things were happening to him? Did God get the feeling that Duke had been just taking advantage of Him and withdrawn his support and protection? All the more reason to clear the air now. Pushing on, Duke continued, "...a while since my last confession. I do my best in this sin-filled world that we live in. I'm simply a business man who obtains products for my customers at prices they won't find anywhere else, sometimes even earlier than they CAN find them elsewhere. Perhaps I may use less than legitimate means of obtaining what they want sometimes, but I've always lived by a simple code: I never hurt anyone in my efforts to make a living. I've never even touched a weapon, never used one in a job nor will I sell any. If other people want to hurt each other in their mad dash for wealth and power then that's their business, but the Duke will have no part of that. Anyway, some time ago I took a job from this ram by the name of Doug. Kinda uptight, but he was offering a great deal of money if I could get for him a couple dozen flower bulbs, provided they were all a specific kind and that I could produce them quickly and off the books. I wasn't sure why he was offering so much money for a bunch of stupid flowers, nor what all the subterfuge was about, but since flowers are supposed to be soothing I figured he could probably use some. My biggest issue, however, was how to get an order that large that quickly without leaving a huge, bright neon trail for others to follow and still make a profit. I was still working out the particulars on how I was going to manage it when I happened to pass by the Flora and Fauna shop..."

* * *

As he strolled down the street, Duke spotted a woman in a bright orange vest punching out a ticket and placing it under the windshield wiper of the vehicle she was standing by just as this surfer-looking dude ran out of the nearby shop and started arguing with her loudly, the scene striking him as funny that he had to chuckle. _Sucks to be you, meter maid,_ Duke thought to himself, _Now how am I going to..._

Duke's steps faltered as his ears picked up on something, and he turned to look at the entrance of the nearby flower shop. Inside he saw a pig in a blue, speckled shirt (the owner, he assumed) speaking with the delivery boy across the counter. Most of it was business-speak, rather uninteresting to Duke, but one part of the conversation he found VERY interesting: inside the orange duffle on the counter was two dozen Night Howlers, the very flowers Doug had hired him to get! Even better, after the delivery boy took his signed paperwork and left the store, the owner himself turned and headed back into the storeroom in the back, leaving the bag of bulbs on the counter.

"Yes!" Duke exclaimed before he remembered to keep his voice down, "God still loves me!" Duke then slinked through the open door, making as little noise as possible, and made his way stealthily through the shop. After he clambered up onto the counter, Duke peered through the doorway the owner disappeared through. Seeing that the pig was busy in the other room gathering up some flower pots, Duke slowly and cautiously hoisted the bag onto his shoulder as he turned back towards the entrance. As he was about to leap off the counter, however, Duke heard a voice behind him say "What the...?" and he craned his head around to see the shop owner standing in the storeroom's doorway, his hands full of pots and his face slack with shock.

"That's my cue!" Duke hollered as he leapt to the floor and raced out the door, barely hearing the owner yelling at him to stop (like THAT was going to happen) over the sounds of the pots crashing to the ground behind him. Once he exited the store he saw that meter maid again, this time sitting in her three-wheeled scooter-like vehicle (why do they have to drive such slow vehicles anyway?) banging her head on her steering wheel and muttering to herself, but Duke was too busy trying to make his getaway to pay her much mind.

Running at top speed across the road, Duke was sure that heard the shop's owner telling the meter maid about his shop being robbed. Personally, Duke thought that he would have been better off using his own phone to call the police himself, not that it would have made much of a difference by this point. Even if the guy had been able to snap the meter maid out of her funk long enough to radio the report in, there was nobody who knew the streets of this town better than him, none of Zootopia's flatfoots were fast enough to catch him once he got going, and the cops' vehicles were too large to follow him down the narrow streets and alleyways he liked to use. In short, once the Duke got going, you'd best consider him gone.

Duke didn't expect to find any pursuit just yet as he sped the length of the alley, so he found himself rather shocked to hear a rather authoritative female voice holler from behind him, "Stop!" Continuing his flight, Duke craned his neck around to see a rabbit dressed in a policewoman's uniform chasing him down and impossibly gaining as she cried out, "Stop in the name of the law!"

 _What in the coop!? Since when did Zootopia get officers that?"_ Duke thought to himself in dismay. However it wasn't long before the dismay faded and was replaced by exhilaration, this chase reminding him of his earlier days when he'd found great joy in his attempts to evade the cops. As his speed and his knowledge of Zootopia's escape routes increased, though, Duke became bored with the contest as losing the cops became too easy, and the only joy Duke found was in his pursuit of a bigger profit. Now, at long last, Duke finally found someone that might possibly be worthy of being called his rival, long after he'd ever given up hope of it ever happening in his lifetime.

"Catch me if you can, cottontail!" Duke called back to his pursuer, stifling the chuckle that threatened to come out with it as he exited the alley and weaved through the crowded city's central square. As the chase went on, however, Duke began to grow nervous again. Though he narrowly avoided being crushed by a pachyderm and a police car, the long eared flatfoot showed no signs of slowing down. _Geez, this is ridiculous!_ Duke thought to himself, _Getting a rival's good and all, but it won't do me any good If I get caught now._

Then, as the district of Little Rodentia came into view ahead of him, Duke felt a sly grin creep across his face. _Let's see little miss flatfoot follow me in there!_ Duke thought smugly to himself as he chucked the bag over the top of the high fence while he dove for the small entrance at its base. Of course the tiny portal was designed solely for the field mice that called this part of town their home, but still Duke found it a tighter squeeze than he remembered it being. Regardless, Duke managed to make it through the hole in time to catch his bag before it had a chance to hit the ground and damage its contents.

Feeling as though he could finally slow down and take a breather, Duke snuck through the streets as he tried to recall just where the other entrance was. Of course he felt the strangeness of the fact that he was taller than many of the buildings here, and even though it had been many years since he had to take this escape route this part of town still made him feel like one of the monsters from the Giraffzilla movies.

Of course Duke's breather, and his moment of self-reflection, turned out to be shorter lived than he thought it'd be as he heard the persistent flatfoot cry out to him again, "You! Freeze!" prompting him to run again as he thought, _Geez! Doesn't she_ _ **ever**_ _give up!?_

As the chase turned down a busy street, the tiny cars swerving around the feet of him and his pursuer, Duke got himself an idea. Making a small leap forward, he landed with one foot each in a pair of flatbed trucks traveling in the same direction he had been running. If course it had been more difficult at first than he'd imagined it would be, with the panicked drivers trying to shake off their unexpected and unwelcome cargo, but Duke soon got the hang of it and he and his make-shift skates were finally putting a bit of distance between himself and this rabbit cop. Duke then spun around and skated backwards to laugh gloatingly at the cop chasing him before he rounded a corner, where he kicked each of the little trucks and their screaming drivers down opposite cross-streets before he clambered to the top of the buildings before him and ran across their rooftops.

When he got to the last building on this block he felt it wobble under his feet, and the thought that ran though his head was that it must not have been built up to code. Then when he made the leap to the elevated monorail track before him and started to race down its length, Duke could have sworn that he heard something that sounded like the little buildings were toppling into each other like dominoes. For a split second Duke had the thought that he should turn back and stop them from falling, as somebody might actually get hurt, before he remembered that the lady cop was back there. Assuming that the badge on her chest was real, the rabbit must have been taught to "serve and protect" during her training. Therefore she would surely break off her pursuit in order to stop them from falling over, and if she didn't then anyone that got hurt would be on her head.

Duke had run about halfway down the length of the track when his ears perked up at the sound of a horn. looking ahead of him Duke saw the monorail train heading down the track towards him. _You've got to be kidding me!_ Duke thought to himself in disbelief. looking around him Duke so he had nowhere to go, the tallest buildings boxing him in on both sides. Of course he realized that the monorail train, which was designed for the smallish residents who lived here, wouldn't kill him if it hit or anything. However, it would still hurt plenty, not to mention that it would likely derail when it struck him (which would hurt those inside even more). It was a bit too long for him to jump over, and was moving much too fast for him to make it back the way he came (where that rabbit cop was surely waiting, if by some miracle he did manage to make it.)

In the split second all this went through his head, Duke got himself a brilliant idea. _If I can't outrun it,_ he thought to himself, _then use it!_ Holding his precious cargo securely over his head, he made a small leap onto the roof of the train, finding himself grateful that it gripped the single rail more securely than one that used two normally would.

As the train took him back out the way he came, Duke heard his pursuer grunt as she dove off the track, and he couldn't help but smile at her as he said gloatingly, "Bon voyagey, flatfoot!" However, as he turned around to face the way the train was heading, Duke was dismayed to see that the track ahead of them was crossed by several convoluted tubes spanning between the buildings on either side of it. Of course the train would have no trouble passing underneath them, but as tall as Duke was either he would get knocked off the train, the occupied walkway tubes would get destroyed, or both (all disasters he could do without). Fortunately Duke was nimble enough to dodge them, leaping and contorting himself to pass through the tight spaces without losing the bag of Night Howlers.

Just as he was ready to pat himself on the back, however, Duke saw that the lady cop had impossibly managed to get ahead of him and was now hanging from one of the walkways by her legs. Before Duke could recover from his shock, the cop got ahold of him by the neck, and the momentum caused them to swing around the walkway a few times before she lost her grip on him, flinging him back a few blocks where he bounced and rolled into a painful heap.

As his vision cleared and his senses slowly came back to him, Duke raised his head and saw the rabbit running towards him yelling, "Hey! Stop right there!" Feeling as though he had enough of this persistent broad, Duke hollered "Have a doughnut, copper!" as he kicked the giant doughnut sign off the little shop he'd landed behind. He'd only meant it to be a quip, and he half expected her to start chasing after him again after she'd dodged it by diving to the ground. Therefore, Duke found himself rather surprised when she acted in a stereotypical manner and chased after the big doughnut instead. _Huh, guess cops really_ _**do**_ _love their doughnuts,_ Duke thought to himself with a chuckle. Then he walked over to where his bag had landed, feeling rather grateful that it appeared undamaged, and picked it up as he said, "Come to Papa." As he got ready to take off again, however, a large shadow fell over him. Looking back with wide eyes, Duke saw the rabbit cop standing right behind him and looking rather irate as she held the doughnut sign over her head just before she slammed it down on him.

* * *

"She hit me with a big doughnut! Can you believe it, Father?" Duke complained to the priest, who just sat there listening quietly. Of course this wasn't too unusual, as he remembered the guy doing much the same during his previous visits, only chiming in occasionally with words of comfort and, more often, advising him to choose a different way of life. "Just slammed it down on my head, forced it over my arms, and made me walk across the square to the police station like that!" Duke continued indignantly, "Can you imagine just how humiliating that was? I mean, didn't the Academy teach her the proper use of handcuffs? And when we got there and it turned out that the sign restraining me was too big to fit though the doors, do you think that she took it off, cuffed me proper and walked me inside? Heck no! She just kept on pushing until popped on through, bouncing and rolling till I came to a rest ON MY HEAD by the reception desk! Then she had the nerve to brag to everyone how she was the one who caught me!"

"Yes, that indeed does sound very troublesome…" the priest said in a sympathetic voice, though his eyes still held that anxious look from before.

"Yeah, well it seems that her boss wasn't so impressed by the way he yelled at her to come to his office," Duke said with a chuckle, "Wish I could have sat in on that conversation, rather than simply cooling my heels in a cell the next couple of days. By the time I was let out on bail, nobody was discussing my case anymore. Instead, the big talk around town was how predators around town was how predators around town were going nuts and Mayor Lionheart had been arrested for illegally locking some of them up."

"Ah. You're referring to the Night Howler incident," the priest confirmed.

"Yeah, and before you ask I didn't know those flowers were so dangerous back then," Duke confirmed in a disgruntled tone, "Do you think that I would have offered to sell them to Doug if I knew they would be used to make predators go savage and attack people? Of course not! I've already told you how I hate weapons. Besides, I know that I may not look like it, but I'm a predator! Technically I am, anyway. I don't care how much money Doug would have given me for them, I need my other customers to trust me enough to buy from me, not to turn and run the moment they see me."

"Yes, when you put it that way it doesn't make much sense," the priest agreed.

"Darn straight it don't, but try telling that to anyone else around here!" Duke said in a disgruntled tone, "Now it seems that all of Zootopia either is giving me the cold shoulder or else actively wants to kill me! I wish that was the worst of it, but my true troubles began about a week after I got out of the clink. I was trying to build up my finances to get a larger shipment of Night Howlers for Doug, that way he wouldn't break my kneecaps with his head. However, business was a little slow due to people being scared by that incident you mentioned. I had just failed to get another sucker, that is _customer_ , to buy my products from me when Nick brought _her_ back into my life again!"

* * *

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the Duke of Bootleg," Nick said as he approached, and although she was dressed like she had just come off the farm Duke recognized the rabbit with him as the annoyingly persistent flatfoot that had cost him his huge payday and his credibility with Doug. Just what Nick was doing hanging out with a cop (maybe he was trying to pull a con on her) but Duke didn't feel like playing along today.

"Nick, shouldn't you be melting down a Pawpsicle somewhere?" then he turned his focus on the rabbit (whom Duke remembered her boss calling her "Hopps") and asked with his best carefree smile, "Hey there, if it isn't Flopsy the Copsy."

"We both know that those weren't moldy onions I caught you stealing, Weselton," Hopps replied in a firm tone, her eyes hard and her arm crossed, "Just what were you doing with those Night Howlers?"

"It's Weaselton!" Duke corrected her, feeling irritated that she got such a simple name wrong, "Duke Weaselton, and I'm not talking, and there's nothing you can do to make me!" Duke punctuated his remark by flicking his toothpick at her, but the looks Nick and Hopps exchanged made him nervous. After all, even though she wasn't in uniform the rabbit was still a cop, wasn't she? And Duke knew his rights. Therefore they had to be bluffing, didn't they?

"Say Nick, you don't by chance happen to have Mr. Big's number, do you?" Hopps asked as she turned towards Nick, and Duke felt his heart sink into his stomach.

"Yeah, it's in my phone," Nick answered her, though his voice sounded far away to Duke's disbelieving ears, "though I meant to delete it after my...unfortunate choice of sales. Why?"

"Do you think you could call him up for me?" Hopps asked Nick with the sly grin on her face.

"Huh? Why do you want me to call…?" Nick started to ask her with a confused tone, then his face lit up with realization and he said with his own sly grin, "Oh! Sure, hold on." He then tapped some unseen buttons on the phone, and Duke heard it ringing as Nick handed it to Hopps, who accepted it.

"Come on, this joke has gone on long enough," Duke said to them, "There's no way that you guys would know…"

Hopps tapped a button on the phone, and Duke guessed that she had switched it to speakerphone mode as the ringing got louder for a moment before it stopped and a low, raspy voice said, "Hello? Who is this?"

Duke felt himself grow cold. He recalled hearing that voice only once, and then only from a distance, but Duke knew it to be the voice of none other than Mr. Big himself. To look at him one wouldn't think that he was the most feared crime boss in the city, but somehow that little mouse commanded great power and influence, and the muscle working for him certainly was no joke. Just how did Nick and Officer Hopps know him though?

"It's me, sir. Judy," Hopps said to the speaker on the phone, "Judy Hopps, remember?"

"Of course I remember you, my dear!" Mr. Big replied pleasantly, "How could I forget the heavenly voice of the woman who saved my daughter from being crushed by a giant doughnut?"

 _Did he just say "giant doughnut"?_ Duke thought to himself, his knees growing weak from fear as Judy replied, "You know, it's funny that you mentioned that, because it so happens that I'm at Sahara Square standing in front of the weasel who chucked that doughnut down the street and nearly killed her. It's…" Judy trailed off as the turned her focus towards Duke and asked with a smile, "I'm sorry, how do you say your name again?"

"Well, what's in a name, right?" duke said with a nervous chuckle, mentally figuring out just how long it would take to gather together his merchandise & whether or not the delay in making himself scarce was worth it, "I mean, a rose by any other name…"

"It's Weaselton," Nick answered in a carrying voice, "Duke Weaselton."

"Well now, that IS a most fortunate turn of events!" Mr. Big replied, and Duke felt himself on the verge of losing all control over his bowels and bladder, "It so happens that I was just wondering about how to reach you, dear Judy, as my daughter has some important news that she wanted to share with you personally, and my boys are currently in Sahara Square picking something up for me. So if you can tell exactly where you are I can have them swing by and give you a lift, that way we can take care of everything all at once."

"We're at the corner of Woodford and Gale," Judy answered him, "But I was hoping that I could ask a favor of you first."

"For you, my dear, anything!" Mr. Big responded.

"Thanks. Now I know that you have your own business that you'd like to conduct with Mr. Weaselton, but as it turns out he has information that could lead me to who attacked Mr. Otterton and your driver and made them go savage, who may behind all the other predators' savage behavior," Judy explained to him, "The problem is that I can't get him to open up and tell me anything, and unless I can get to the bottom of this the problem might just get much worse for everyone."

"Don't you worry your pretty little head, my dear, I'll take care of everything," Mr. Big assured her, "By the time I'm through with Mr. Weaselton he'll either be singing like a bird or an angel."

When Duke heard the audible click indicating Mr. Big had ended the call he hesitated for only a moment, then his hands were a blur as they grabbed his movies from the table and shoved them an a bag as he said, "Well, Nick, it was really great catching up with you and all, but it seems as though sales have dried up around here for the moment. So if you'll excuse me I need to find a new location to set up sho…"

"Now Duke, you're not thinking of running away now, are you?" Nick asked him.

"Of course I am!" Duke answered with a harsh tone, feeling the sting of betrayal, "Do you think that I'm suicidal enough to stick around here?"

"Actually, I think that your taking off now WOULD be suicidal," Nick retorted with the smile Duke was beginning to hate.

"Just what do you mean?" Duke asked him.

"He means that Mr. Big knows your name now, that you're the reason he nearly lost his daughter, not to mention there's a lovely picture of you in the paper," Judy answered him instead, showing him the article about his arrest on her phone, "I only had Nick to help me and I was able to find you. Do you think that someone with Mr. Big's manpower and resources wouldn't be able to track you down, no matter where you try to hide? Now if you come with us, and answer our questions honestly, I might be inclined to persuade Mr. Big to spare your matted hide. If you make Mr. Big hunt you down, however, that'll only serve to make him angrier, and if we're not there at that time to speak for you…"

The rest of what Judy was saying was cut off by the sound of a vehicle driving up the street behind him and coming to a stop, and Duke felt himself pee a little as he heard the sound of doors opening and closing and Judy announced, "Looks like our ride is here." Then his heart faltered and stopped as he felt a pair of heavy, white paws close around his shoulders.

* * *

"It was horrible!" Duke said as he dashed the tears from his eyes, though he felt more angry than anything, "For what seemed like forever I felt like I was going to die! And while that cop said that they'd speak on my behalf, when Mr. Big gave his men the order to ice me all they did was sit around and watch while drinking tea, and Zootopia thinks of _her_ as a hero? Well let me tell you, they don't know the real Judy Hopps! And I can't believe that Nick would turn on me like that! Of course it wasn't like we were best friends, but I thought we at least had a mutual understanding. How could he go and side with that dirty cop!? What did I do to deserve all of this? I've never hurt anyone in my life! Yeah, sure Doug would have used the Night Howlers to cause predators to go crazy, which may have resulted in people getting hurt, but it's not like I knew that when I agreed to the sale, which I didn't get to complete anyway thanks to that cop. As for Mr. Big's daughter it's not like I was aiming for her when I kicked that doughnut sign, and if she'd been more concerned with looking both ways before crossing the street, instead of catching up on the latest gossip with her friends, then the dumb broad would never have been in danger in the first place!"

As he took a deep, cleansing breath to calm himself, Duke focused again on the priest and saw with surprise that he was visibly trembling with fear, though the man was obviously trying to keep his voice steady as he said, "Yes, it does seem as though you've experienced many troubles, my child. However, as I tried to explain to you before, I'm currently in the middle of another confessional, so if you'll come back later I'll be more than happy then to…"

"Huh?" Duke said in confusion, wondering if the guy had lost it. He took another look around, confirming that the booth was as empty as it appeared when he first entered it. Was the old priest just _too_ old? "What are you talking about?" Duke asked him, "There's nobody else in here…"

The sounds of opening curtains entered Duke's awareness, drawing his attention to what he'd thought to be a fancy tithing box set on the sill of the window looking into the priest's booth, then his heart leapt into his throat when he saw Mr. Big stepping out of it. "M-m-m-Mr. Big! I-I-I..." Duke stammered in fear. When Mr. Big held out his ring hand, Duke bent over to kiss it in a show of fealty, though it proved difficult due to how badly his paws were shaking, then he tried again, "Mr. Big, you've gotta understand... "

Mr. Big then raised his hand to silence Duke before saying, "When I had my boys bring you in I very much wanted to ice you. As a father I had every right to do so for what you nearly done to my daughter, not to mention that it would have been expected of me as the head of my Family. It was only the request of Judy Hopps that I spare you in exchange for your cooperation in providing her the information on the buyer of the Night Howlers, and I agreed to do so on the condition that you never show your face before me or my family again. And how do you repay my mercy? You barge in here, interrupting my time of communion with the Lord. You've disrespected me. You disrespected my daughter, whom you had endangered with your thoughtless actions. You disrespected Mrs. Hopps, to whom you owe your very life..."

"But Mr. Big, you don't understand..." Duke said desperately.

"...and you disrespected me once again by interrupting!" Mr. Big snapped at him, then he turned towards the priest's window and said gently, "Forgive me, Father, but I must cut our time short today. It seems I need to have another little talk with this young one about his terrible lack of manners."

The priest looked as petrified as Duke felt, but he kept his voice even as he said, "Of course, Mr. Big."

Deep down in his gut, Duke had a feeling that he would not be returning from this "discussion" Mr. Big intended to have with him. However, as desperate as he was to find the right thing to say to save himself, his mind was a complete blank and he felt as though he was choking on his own tongue. Therefore, when Mr. Big snapped his fingers and a pair of huge, white paws reached through the curtains and grabbed him from behind, Duke was only able to let out a pathetic little squeak of fear just before he was quickly jerked out of the booth.

* * *

 _To those few who may actually be concerned about the fate of Duke Weaselton, rest assured that he will return in "Vanished"_


End file.
